I just said goodbye to my younger brother C~ and his girlfriend J~ after a weekend spent with them at Northern Michigan University in Marquette, Michigan.
And I'm not crying right now. THIS, friends, is a monumental event.
Maybe goodbye does get easier. Or perhaps this will all just hit at a later time.
These later times include (but are certainly not limited to) the following:
1. As soon as I get on the plane headed home
2. In the middle of my doctor's appointment tomorrow morning as we discuss travel health
3. During my root canal on Wednesday while I am flying high on happy gas
4. On Thursday, when I start my packing in earnest
5. On Friday, while sitting in the dental chair
6. On Saturday, when all the last minute details are coming together
7. On Sunday, as we drive toward Chicago and I say goodbye to brother #2, E~
8. On Monday, as I am sitting at the airport after saying the "last goodbyes"
And by "hit," I mean that I will either survive this with strength and grace and courage, or I will be a disaster.
I had a dream the other night that we were sitting at the airport in Chicago and I was about to make last minute calls to say goodbye to people. I pulled a list out of my pocket to run down the line (yes, even in dreams I have a list fetish), and some of my very dear friends featured. I reached in for my phone to start calling, and realized in an instant that I didn't have it. (I will not be bringing a cell to Romania) Enough of a freakout ensued that D~ had to call security to calm me down, and I wasn't allowed to board the plane. I can assure you that I haven't had that kind of an episode in about 18 years, but it was an epic tantrum in my dream. Let's hope I experience some more self-control in the real situation, if only for the sake of D~ and his sanity.
Kind of a crazy week to come.
good byes don't get easier, but it makes saying hello even better when you return! hang in there chica you can do it!!! praying you have peace and enjoy your final moments at home.
ReplyDeleteYou will survive this, Steph. There will be no disaster. You have that kind of drive that others wish they had. While they sit around and wish, you run out and do. Going to Romania proves this. I have no doubt that you will meet all these challenges head-on and beat them mercilessly.
ReplyDeleteThe question is not "Am I ready for Romania?" What you really need to be asking is "Is Romania ready for me?"