Chutes and Ladders

I will work to find blessings in every troubling situation I have found or do find myself in.

I nearly lost my position in Romania, and had to work rather hard to get it back. This could be considered a problem, and it was certainly an emotionally charged and difficult situation. The blessing? I found out that I can stand up for myself when the situation calls for it, and it is not just the needs of others that I can care for.

I broke my ankle in Romania, and spent the next 10 days in almost constant agonizing pain, all while working a full time plus schedule. The blessing? I had people to help me in Romania, and I have a family with health insurance. I am covered under my father's policy, and I was able to see an orthopedic specialist. I am able to recover under the professional care of a physical therapist, and all of this comes at little or no cost to me.

I lost my summer position in Connecticut, the job I have most looked forward to of any in my life. The blessing? I can fully recover from my ankle injury, I can live at home and spend time where I grew up, and I can enjoy my family. I didn't have the stress of moving just 6 days after getting back to the States, and it allows me more time to look for a position in the fall.

I moved home from Romania. I know many of you will see this as a blessing, but it is a difficult situation right now. I miss my adopted home, and I don't have another place to really belong yet. The "reverse-culture shock" is hitting harder than I expected it to, especially when I let myself think about it. The blessing? I had a chance to live for nearly 10 months in an incredible place, experiencing things I will remember for a lifetime. I am so lucky to have had that opportunity.

I lost the use of my car, due to a minor accident. It wasn't really his fault and anyone could have made that mistake, but it's frustrating regardless. The blessing? I don't have a summer job and I don't really need a car. Also, my brother's "fleet" of vehicles means that if I really need to get somewhere, I can.

I don't have a job for the fall. The blessing? Update to come... we hope.

People!

My friend J~ came to Bucureşti yesterday, and I met her after classes. It was SO good to see a familar face in my city. We had a really great time, and ended up going back to the place where she was couchsurfing to eat dinner.

There, I met a couple, A~ and R~ McMasters. Yeah, that's not a local name. THAT, my friends, is an American couple. We had such a wonderful time talking and eating and drinking and just BEING with people. It was great. I'm sure we will get together again soon- I found city friends!

J~ and I met up again today before she left for the next city, and we went to dinner in the Lipscani district of Bucureşti. Considered the "old" part of the city, it is really what the entire area used to look like before the building projects of the 1980's. It is a really lovely area, but also rather upsetting because it is beautiful. The whole city USED to be this way- incredible. What kind of maniac tears down such history and charm and character? I had a really great time with J~ though, and it was actually really sad to see her go. I'm certain that we will keep in touch, and I feel so glad to have connected with her.

Regardless, I had really missed people. And I found some. Blessings.

Unashamed

I had the opportunity to talk with my mom today after quite a while. I'm feeling rather badly about the situation she is finding herself in. To begin, both myself and my younger brother C~ left home in the same week in August. I have not really been "home" in about four years, but I was still around for every holiday and lots of visits. C~ left for college at Northern Michigan University in Marquette, and I flew to Bucureşti. She had my youngest brother E~ left, but he is a senior in high school. He really isn't there, to be honest.


With the wrap-up of the football season, she is essentially saying goodbye to a fall tradition she has enjoyed for 13 years, since the boys were just little guys. Every day that passes is one less day she has to be a mother with kids in the house. She lives halfway between being an empty-nester and a nurturing mother. Additionally, E~ recently made the decision to repeat his senior year of high school and study abroad for a year, probably in Croatia. This means that if I stay in Europe, the child closest to home will be C~ at a 10 hour car ride away.


If you happen to know my mom, be extra nice to her, okay? She seems to be managing quite well, but I'm still sad for her. Maybe send her an encouragement card or take her out for lunch or just give her a hug. She will be needing lots of that in the next few months. I told her today that she raised exactly the kind of children one wants- strong, independent people. Her reply: "And they all want to leave me."


Regardless, this post really isn't about my poor mother. It is about something we talked about that makes me laugh and horrifies me at the same time.


She was recently at a gathering and someone made a comment that was just downright rude about the physical appearance of an employee at a local store. She didn't really know this particular person, but she made fun of them good-naturedly by referring to a book that I'm quite sure the person had not read, considering the fact that they didn't understand the reference at all. (T~ does this a lot, getting a lot of pleasure from being smarter than people without them even knowing it.) She told me the whole story, and after I reigned in my laughter, I just sat here. This woman who said this terrible thing didn't know many people at this gathering. First of all- she wouldn't have said it if she didn't think people were going to agree with her, right? Secondly- what the hell is she thinking that she WON'T tell people?


In other news, I got a wonderful surprise in the mail today. I had a package notice and didn't know who it could be from- it was an amazing gift from my cousins Mary and Brian. It is so sweet to feel the support and love from the States. I am often struck by just how lucky I am, to be living in this place, with the opportunity to travel and develop my teaching skills and meet new people. But I am constantly reminded- whether by emails or Skype dates or Facebook posts or packages- that I am not alone.


And I now have 176 Crystal Light packets, in addition to slippers, candy, gum, chapstick, a generous gift card, and hand sanitizer. Booyah.

I Lied...

I'll get to my lie a little later in the post.

To begin, travel is magic. Traveling alone is magic as well, and I wasn't so sure this would be the case.

I arrived in Brasov on Friday, and ended up talking until after 3 in the morning, just soaking in the comfortable English conversation with new friends J~, S~, and T~ from Brunei and New Zealand. I got up on Saturday morning and went for a hike up Tampa Mountain- literally one of those experiences you remember forever- the ones that, in a really odd sort of way, define you. It was about 75 minutes up the mountain with all the switchbacks, and I got to the top right as the sun was peaking over the edge. I just stood with my hands outstretched and breathed and screamed and cried because of all the beauty and blessing in my life. See, there are benefits to traveling alone!

The rest of the day was spent exploring the remainder of the center of Brasov- it is an adorable, beautiful, amazing city. The center is so untouched by the Communist influences (bloc apartments, etc...) that seem to be everywhere else in Romania. It was just pure and clean and friendly and warm. The weather was absolutely perfect- the most wonderful autumn weekend. I got moved with my newfound friend J~ to an apartment because the hostel was booked out, and we had dinner at a local restaurant with Romanian specialties. Including the "grilled pig brain." Yes, friends- I at BRAIN! It was rather mushy, but actually rather tasty. We then went out with the two guys from New Zealand in the city center- near Piata Sfatului. It was a magical kind of day.

J~ was supposed to leave in the morning for the next leg of her journey, but she ended up delaying it a day so she could stay and go to Bran with me. THIS was my lie. In the last post, I said that I was not going to Dracula's castle- we did, in fact, go to Dracula's castle at Bran. It is about a half hour bus trip from Brasov, and we (with the help of two Serbian girls H~ and N~) flagged down the bus from the side of the road and made the trek.

Bran is (to be completely honest) rather disappointing. It is certainly a HUGE tourist attraction, but the castle itself isn't amazing. Regardless, for the rest of my life I will be able to say that I spent Halloween 2010 at Dracula's Castle. Honestly, what else in life IS there?

My return home was late (as trains usually are) but rather comfortable. I enjoyed part of the journey in a compartment with a music teacher, an old woman, a man who just kept muttering "frumosa" (meaning "beautiful") to himself, and a three year old child. Around the halfway point my compartment emptied out and I was joined by two men who were- to put it mildly- Romanian gods. They are volleyball coaches. Mhhmmm.

Bucuresti was waiting for me in all its glory. It always amazed me that not only my apartment, but my metro station and my street and my city are all the same when I return. I come back with an entire weekend full of new experiences and memories and friends and thoughts and emotions- and everything here is the same.

It is like magic.

Connection

Like a flower craves sunlight and even bends itself toward it, I crave human connection. I live for the people around me- the everyday interactions, the shared moments, the passing of wisdom, and the lightening of burdens. And in the past few days, I have been blessed on a level beyond the physical, the mental, or the emotional. My soul has been touched in a way I can not even put into words.

I assumed that moving here would result in some kind of restrictions on the amount of connection I felt to others. I was looking forward to learning about myself and discovering more about my teaching practice, sure. But I was dreading the lack of contact I would have with people.

Life has a funny way of working out sometimes. People walk into your life when you aren't even looking, and your entire being fills with the joy of knowing someone, and feeling cherished, and sleeping once more in the night.