I Find Myself

I find myself in a place of great fear and wonderful excitement and terrible unknowns. I find myself in a state of both energetic happiness and weary exhaustion. I find myself wondering and wishing and hoping and dreaming and praying. I find myself wanting to do better, to feel better, to be better, and to make better. I find myself craving comfort and routine and structure. I find myself yearning for spontaniety and freedom and adventure.

I find myself in the smile of a friend or a note of ringing laughter. I find myself in eyes that are lit up with excitment. I find myself in personal connection and inside jokes and in touching the souls of others. I find myself in the beauty of people and the striking beauty of nature. I find myself in the sounds of the city and the feel of each block as my feet hit the pavement with a sort of rhymic assuredness. I find myself in the stories of people around me, coming from wildly different places to converge in this moment and in this place.

And daily, I find myself in the company of children. I find myself sitting on the grass each morning, giving and recieving hugs that have the whole world of emotion wrapped into them. I find myself singing annoyingly catchy songs about princesses and trees and frogs and bumblebees. I find myself teaching about life and cleaning up messes and passing out lunches. I find myself in the deep end of the pool, where the fears are so concentrated, and the trust so sparingly granted. I find myself in the locker room in a continuous search for underwear, and I find myself offering comfort to a group of drooping and dragging and sweaty little girls. I find myself scratching backs and braiding hair and trailing my fingers over their delicate faces. I find myself laughing continuously at the beautiful innocence of my campers. I find myself in an amazing place both for my body and for my spirit, when I find myself in the company of children.

I am hoping that I find myself in Romania.

Kid quote of the day:
"Stephanie, there is FOR REAL something in my tushy. And it hurts!" -Munchkin #4