Monday, November 29, 2010

It's Bribe Time

Playing a stupid, overly dramatic, emotional American girl is a lot easier if you ARE a stupid, overly dramatic, emotional American girl.

Friday morning was pretty exhausting for some reason, probably because I knew when I got up that my day wouldn’t actually end for another 19 hours. Regardless, this is my especially difficult day- four first grade classes in a row followed by a class of eighth graders that don’t seem to care much and a group of really challenging fifth graders. I had a very time-consuming lesson planned for the first grade classes, and was confident for the first time that I wouldn’t be filling time during the period, but wishing for more of it. It involved some cutting and pasting to create family vocabulary flashcards, and I thought I was a winner… until about 7:55 am when I found myself arguing with a six year old child. I was showing her exactly where in her book to cut, and she just kept repeating the word “NO” over and over again. Pretty soon I realized it is because she didn’t have scissors. No biggie, right… we’ll share. Well, that plan worked out until I realized that four of the thirty six children in the classroom had scissors. Do you have ANY idea how slowly thirty minutes can pass in a classroom packed with little bodies that understand about 23 English words at best?

On track for my next class (certain that I had seen these children with scissors) I arrive outside the classroom about two minutes early to find the classroom completely empty. Hmm, a little break, I suppose. This was perfectly okay until I got to my next class 45 minutes later, and guess what? They weren’t there either. This could have been about an hour at home that I instead spent lying on the floor in the teacher bathroom, but no big deal. I mean, why TELL the English teacher that you have a field trip on Friday?

I arrived home and packed quickly to head to Timişoara, leaving my apartment and getting to the train station relatively early. I got on the train no problem, found my assigned seat, and settled in. About ten minutes later, a man walks up, pulls out his ticket, and… it looks exactly the same as mine, with one small difference. Mine said 02-NOV-2010, and his read 26-NOV-2010. Guess which one is correct? Having no idea why the ticket agent sold me a ticket for November 2nd AFTER that date, I took my stuff to the end of the car and just stood for a while. We started moving, and some very nice older men invited me to sit in the extra seat across from them. I waited nervously for a while, and asked a guy sitting next to me what I should do- he told me to get prepared to bribe the conductor along with my valid but useless ticket.

The older gentleman across the aisle from me reached for my ticket, and gave me a reassuring look. When the first conductor came, he just looked at the ticket and moved on, but I realized he hadn’t validated or punched it at all. So when the second conductor came I was a bit nervous as I handed him my ticket. He just stared at me for a while, my eyes swimming in tears, acting completely clueless (which wasn’t far from the truth). All of a sudden the man across the aisle stands up and just goes at this man, arguing like his life was dependent on it. The conductor punched my ticket and handed it back to me, and moved on. The man just smiled, patted me on the shoulder, and sat back down. Thanking him again and again, he just shrugged me off and fell asleep- or pretended to- about three minutes later. God bless the kindness of strangers, yeah?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Life Sans Convenience

Life here in Romania isn't totally backward or anything. I have blazing fast internet in my apartment when the power doesn't go out, and it usually only takes me about 2 or 3 tries to light the oven. I just put on more layers when it gets cold, and make up lessons that don't require the use of paper because this is a school system without copy machines.

I'm pretty low maintenance... these things are all okay with me.

I was talking with someone last week about all of these little life adjustments that I've, quite honestly, just gotten used to. I mentioned something about having to hang my clothing, and he was like, "You don't have a dryer?" I then launched into this explanation:

Well, I do have a dryer, I just don't know how to use it. It is a combination washer and dryer, and I cannot figure out how to get the "dryer" part of it to run. The reason I know it is both is because when I did my first load of laundry back in September, the machine went through a whole cycle, but when I opened it up, the clothing hadn't been washed- they were all dry. I messed around with some settings and the next time, it came out dry again. Once more I tried it, and it finally washed the clothing- but now I cannot figure out how to get back to it being a dryer.

This person asked me to give him the make and model of my unit, and he very kindly investigated it for me. He says it took only about 30 minutes, I doubt this... but his findings the next day...

"Sooooooooo... AWE 6514... your washing machine is a washing machine is a washing machine"

"Not a dryer?"

"Nope."

"I really have nothing to say right now."

"Nothing to say, just going to have to keep hang drying."

This has been your Stephanie moment of the week, presented to you by... the shame of my father.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Dummy

For most of my life, I have been a complete idiot about romantic relationships. There were a million other factors that got in the way forever, but when I finally began to mature in this area a little bit, I just proved to be a moron.

Having finally, MAYBE, found some clarity and therefore sanity about the whole thing, I have a few things to say.

1. Men, women's magazines are doing you a huge disservice when they tell us "how to be" in order to attract a great guy. I've spent my entire life convincing myself that I will always have more emotionally at-stake in a relationship than a man possibly could have. This just isn't true. We've been conditioned to think that men are simply sex-driven machines who can be broken eventually and convinced that life is just easier with one woman and feelings. And so we cater to it, and end up unhappy.

2. Women are bad communicators. The games we play are simply ridiculous, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Why flirt around the subject and tease and play with someone like that? It isn't to be coy or cute- it is mostly a fear of rejection, a fear of putting ourselves out there. There is a lot to be learned from watching males communicate with each other- just frank and efficient and effective. I know I'm betraying the sisterhood here, but we could probably be a lot happier if we stopped infusing assumptions into EVERY conversation we have.

3. There is nothing wrong with dating. I was raised in a belief system and then went to college in a culture where you just don't date. Nothing is casual, and the amount of strain and stress and pressure this creates is ridiculous. I'm not saying we shouldn't be picky about who we spend time with. I would never seriously date someone who I couldn't see myself with long term- that would just be a pointless and probably hurtful exercise. However, how are you supposed to know that if you don't get to know someone a bit? I went on a very random and spontaneous "date" during college that lasted about 45 minutes, and someone asked me if I thought I could marry this person. I honestly was like, "let me find out his last name first." The pressure just kills chances all over the place.

4. Just because it doesn't look like a storybook doesn't mean it isn't real. For a really long time, romantic gestures just made me curl up and cry, because I wasn't getting them from anyone. I'm talking things like planning amazing dates and sending flowers for no reason and creating memories in beautiful places- movie romance. Now, I just curl up and giggle a bit... because life is about more than that, I've come to believe. I'm not saying couples shouldn't show affection like that, and creativity within a relationship is certainly welcome. But at some point, doesn't it become about choosing to stay when that person has been acting ugly? Isn't it about communicating love every day, even if just by doing the dishes for someone? Isn't it about knowing the other person deeply and caring for their well-being? I'm not saying I would no longer appreciate romantic gestures and sweet words... I'm just beginning to see through the charm to the real thing.

5. Confidence is, as my mother always told me, key. I have spent a good amount of time not only working to change parts of my personality, but apologizing for it. I have good friends who do the exact same thing. We have this image in our heads of what the perfect woman is, and we try to shape ourselves to that. Women have the worst double standards for ourselves. Many of us would never expect a man to fit into a box, and we love the quirky things about their personalities. Why do we think all men want THIS kind of woman? On a deeper level, we really are looking for someone to love us not just despite all of the things we view as flaws, but because of them. So why not just run with it?

6. Baggage makes things easier. I'm not saying that unloading emotional problems on someone is the best idea... but we all have things we carry around with us. It is really difficult to be emotionally vulnerable with someone if they are completely stable and whole themselves. Feeling like the "weak" one in a relationship isn't easy, and really is ultimately unsustainable. I've said this before- maybe not here- but it really is about finding someone whose baggage matches yours.

I think that I am done ranting for now. I'm really not an angry person, I just feel like I've grown a lot in this area of my life recently.

I know that some of you who know the history are chuckling right now, others are simply confused, some amused and wondering what is going on in my life, and some might wonder exactly what kind of narcotic I took this morning. Regardless of what category you fit into, please don't read too much into this. I'm done communicating like a woman for a little while- it is what it is :)

Don't worry... I will go back to being cryptic and sentimental shortly.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Yum

There are many things I miss about the United States. I miss familarity and being comfortable with the language. I miss the ability to not be awkward every time I go somewhere new... or anytime, really. I miss walking down the street without getting stares from people, and I miss hearing English.

I even miss the CTA.

However, more than any one thing right now, I miss food. I've gone entire days without eating here, because I simply forget, and just lack excitement for the food I can make in my apartment. I have one pot, one skillet, and one baking pan. The oven is roughly the size of my toilet, and I am usually just too exhausted to try and decifer items at the grocery store.

I was talking with someone recently about some of the dinner parties I've had and cooked for, about recipes I like to make, and different foods I like to eat. This person cooks as well, and I am continually impressed... and jealous. Seriously, sometimes they'll be describing something and my mouth will literally begin to water. No, I'm not hungry for the soup in the cabinet or the pasta (again) or the chicken and rice and veggies. I'm hungry for what THEY are making. I want their steak and sasuage and potatoes and goulash and I even want their Hamburger Helper.

I would have a harder time with the whole part of these conversations if it were not for one thing: I'm coming home in December.

Perfect excuse for a list, I'm thinking.

Texas Roadhouse- just the buns
Taco Bell- I know... my stomach is going to explode after 4 months of abstinence
Chinese- mmm, egg drop soup and egg rolls and orange chicken
Thai- chicken pad thai, anyone?
Olive Garden- a shoutout to my dear C~
Subway- I can't help it...
Mancinos- ham and cheese grinder, yum
Meatloaf- courtsey of Theresa
Spaghetti w/Meat Sauce- again, Theresa
Jet's Pizza- 8 corner pepperoni
Chef Salad- lettuce, carrots, egg, ham, turkey, cheese, and 1000 Island Dressing
Vienna Beef Hot Dog- oooh buddy
Velveeta Shells and Cheese
B.L.T. Sandwich- I don't even care if it is Christmas
Veggies and French Onion Dip- Theresa :)
Chocolate Chip Cookies- baking day!
Scotcharoos- again... part of baking day
Puppy Chow- baking day again
Garretts Popcorn- there are no words, except to say Chicago Mix

Yeah, I know it probably isn't humanly possible to eat all of these things in the 9 days I'll be home. That is 27 meals. 9 of which are breakfast. But don't worry- I won't waste a thing.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Eh, It's Romania...

I've been really neglectful of this blog lately. I don't ever want to get to the point where I am writing just for the sake of writing, and so I took a bit of a break. Also, I don't want to just come on here and complain, and this week was a bit odd.

I've learned a new phrase that I'm going to use whenever I have some problems.

So, next time I lose part of my vision on the way to school, I'll say "Eh, it's Romania."

Next time I sit through an entire class period watching children literally take over the room while waiting for quiet, I'll say "Eh, it's Romania."

Next time I get squeezed on a bus, I'll say "Eh, it's Romania."

Next time I get stuck in an elevator, I'll say "Eh, it's Romania."

And the next time I get "nudged" out of the way by a car, I'll say "Eh, it's Romania."

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Bad Bad World- Guster

This seems like an appropriate blog. I have had this song stuck in my head for a good amount of time, and it is currently the middle of the night :)

Enjoy!

I'm wide awake
It's the middle of the night
I'm standing in the dark
Waiting up for the light

And here I'll remain
Till the sun is in the sky
Standing in the dark
Waiting up for the light.

There is love,
There is peace in this world
So take it back,
Say it's not what you thought
Grab a hold
Take these melodies
With your hands
Write a song to sing

Isn't such a bad, bad world
And I say

These times are strange
I can feel it in the night
I'm standing in the dark
Holding up for the light

And here I'll remain
Till the great sun shines
Standing in the dark
Waiting up for the light


Friday, November 5, 2010

People!

My friend J~ came to Bucureşti yesterday, and I met her after classes. It was SO good to see a familar face in my city. We had a really great time, and ended up going back to the place where she was couchsurfing to eat dinner.

There, I met a couple, A~ and R~ McMasters. Yeah, that's not a local name. THAT, my friends, is an American couple. We had such a wonderful time talking and eating and drinking and just BEING with people. It was great. I'm sure we will get together again soon- I found city friends!

J~ and I met up again today before she left for the next city, and we went to dinner in the Lipscani district of Bucureşti. Considered the "old" part of the city, it is really what the entire area used to look like before the building projects of the 1980's. It is a really lovely area, but also rather upsetting because it is beautiful. The whole city USED to be this way- incredible. What kind of maniac tears down such history and charm and character? I had a really great time with J~ though, and it was actually really sad to see her go. I'm certain that we will keep in touch, and I feel so glad to have connected with her.

Regardless, I had really missed people. And I found some. Blessings.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Bullfighter

One of them better parts of visiting Braşov this past weekend was the opportunity to meet people from all over the world. Transylvania is apparently a hub of crazy party-goers during Halloween, as demonstrated by the fact that there were literally no beds in the entire town of Braşov. Regardless, there is a certain amount of comraderie among people traveling in the same places, and I got to know a lot of people.

I met one group of men after flagging down the bus on the way to Bran Castle. Five men from Spain. Five Spanish men, in all their glory. Four of them were really friendly and talkative, and we chatted about traveling and life for most of the journey. The fifth Spainard was a really big guy, leaning back in his seat, arms crossed, hat pulled down over his eyes and sleeping. He was dressed (as they all were) like a typical Spainard.

One of the men leaned in and said (in the most amazing Spanish accent) "You know bullfight?" I kinda giggled and said "What?"
"You know what I mean when I say bullfight?"
"Yes."
"You come to Spain and I show you bullfight."
"Um, okay?"
"You know how I show you bullfight?"
"No, how?"
He gestures to the sleeping man, and says "This man. This man is bullfighter."
"Really??"

The sleeping man, with all the drama that a movie director would infuse into the scene, raises his hat, revealing eyes that could blow Antonio Banderas out of the water, says in a deep grovely voice "I AM BULLFIGHTER."

Seconds later he was sleeping again, and I was trying desperately not to laugh.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Unashamed

I had the opportunity to talk with my mom today after quite a while. I'm feeling rather badly about the situation she is finding herself in. To begin, both myself and my younger brother C~ left home in the same week in August. I have not really been "home" in about four years, but I was still around for every holiday and lots of visits. C~ left for college at Northern Michigan University in Marquette, and I flew to Bucureşti. She had my youngest brother E~ left, but he is a senior in high school. He really isn't there, to be honest.


With the wrap-up of the football season, she is essentially saying goodbye to a fall tradition she has enjoyed for 13 years, since the boys were just little guys. Every day that passes is one less day she has to be a mother with kids in the house. She lives halfway between being an empty-nester and a nurturing mother. Additionally, E~ recently made the decision to repeat his senior year of high school and study abroad for a year, probably in Croatia. This means that if I stay in Europe, the child closest to home will be C~ at a 10 hour car ride away.


If you happen to know my mom, be extra nice to her, okay? She seems to be managing quite well, but I'm still sad for her. Maybe send her an encouragement card or take her out for lunch or just give her a hug. She will be needing lots of that in the next few months. I told her today that she raised exactly the kind of children one wants- strong, independent people. Her reply: "And they all want to leave me."


Regardless, this post really isn't about my poor mother. It is about something we talked about that makes me laugh and horrifies me at the same time.


She was recently at a gathering and someone made a comment that was just downright rude about the physical appearance of an employee at a local store. She didn't really know this particular person, but she made fun of them good-naturedly by referring to a book that I'm quite sure the person had not read, considering the fact that they didn't understand the reference at all. (T~ does this a lot, getting a lot of pleasure from being smarter than people without them even knowing it.) She told me the whole story, and after I reigned in my laughter, I just sat here. This woman who said this terrible thing didn't know many people at this gathering. First of all- she wouldn't have said it if she didn't think people were going to agree with her, right? Secondly- what the hell is she thinking that she WON'T tell people?


In other news, I got a wonderful surprise in the mail today. I had a package notice and didn't know who it could be from- it was an amazing gift from my cousins Mary and Brian. It is so sweet to feel the support and love from the States. I am often struck by just how lucky I am, to be living in this place, with the opportunity to travel and develop my teaching skills and meet new people. But I am constantly reminded- whether by emails or Skype dates or Facebook posts or packages- that I am not alone.


And I now have 176 Crystal Light packets, in addition to slippers, candy, gum, chapstick, a generous gift card, and hand sanitizer. Booyah.


Monday, November 1, 2010

The Plan

I realized something today while teaching a class that seriously just would NOT be quiet.

I am not here to be a teacher. I am here to be an accent. And when around 50% (or more) of your students don't bring their textbooks to class, it is time to do something different. Especially when the textbooks (in all honesty) are rather horrid.

Honestly, these older students have English teachers that are completely capable. They have classes every week with these people who know them better and can speak Romanian and control the classroom. My job is not to teach them English. My job is to expose them to English, and American/British culture, and my accent.

What better way to do this than by reading a novel?

Starting immediately, I am going to be basing everything in the classroom around novels. Each group/level will obviously be reading a different book, but for the most part we will follow the same format in grades 5, 6, 7, and 8. I will read the books aloud to the students. We will then have book discussions and do fun projects and chapter summaries and chapter questions and written responses and vocabulary.

I am 8 weeks into this thing, and I hope that I have found something that works. I would feel bad about "giving up" if this were not so cool. Plus, these kids should read Beverly Cleary and Roald Dahl and Lois Lowry. Kids everywhere should read these books- it's a new mission.